a short album about stuff

by Matt Tiller

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A lovingly recorded artisan compact disc featuring seven tracks including Flat Packing Anger Management, Consensual Stalking, Rats and We're In This Together. In a beautifully designed 6 panel digipak inspired by the Divine Comedy's a short album about love.

    Includes unlimited streaming of a short album about stuff via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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    Get all 15 Matt Tiller releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Beautiful Sounds, The Ballad of Jack Leslie, Splendid Isolation, The Battle of Maldon AD2019, Things I Smashed, The Aldi Checkout Challenge, The Importance of Self Reliance..., Donald Trump (Let's Make Everything Great...), and 7 more. , and , .

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1.
Flat Packing Anger Management I’ve already spent my weekend in a flat pack store that drove me round the bend But grab your tool, let's make this bed forever we can rest our weary heads And sometimes we'll have sex... Unless you've been a dick and then I kick you out. Slip section A into section C this isn't how I dreamt my life would… (be) It’s not C it's B…. I wish my love could tell a wrench from a spanner At least I have an acceptable bedside manner. Chorus: Flat Packing Anger Management Are you sure I'm over Ikea's age of consent This screwdriver spells self-destruction Maybe I should've read the instructions Baby don't give up on me It’s simple they've given us an alun key I’m throwing in the towel. Not now, I've found the missing dowel. Oh, I love ya. Chorus: Flat Packing Anger Management All we need is a little Dutch encouragement. But not too much and don't do it on your own 4000 deaths a year in accidents at home
2.
3.
Rats 03:09
4.
5.
Well I think I may have gone too far Now I’ve got George Osborne in the boot of my car I’ve got George in the boot of my car Yeah, I’ve got George Osborne in the boot of my car Got George in the boot of my car I’m gonna have to see this through ’til the end. Snuck him into my house in the dead of night My girlfriend said, ‘you gave me a fright’ She said ‘I think I know this fella’ I said, ‘hush just help me get him into the cellar’ And she was really helpful she held open the trapdoor while I bundled him in See, that’s commitment, that’s love. Although she is from Salford. She said, ‘I’m pretty sure that I recognise him although all I can see are his eyes’ That’s cos I’d gaffer taped his entire mouth area And he said, ‘Mmm, Mmm, Mmmm, Mm, Mm, Mmm, Mmm, Mm, Mmmm, Mm, Mmmmm, Mmmmmmm, Mmm-mm-mm’ So I peeled back the gaffer tape ’cos I’m not a maniac. George let out a scream of dread and fear And I just said, ‘calm down dear.’ He said, ‘will you untie my tethers?’ I said, ‘no George we’re in this together.’ And he said, ‘technically that’s not right, because you’ve kidnapped me and now you’re holding me hostage illegally.’ And I said, ‘well you’ve just proved my point for me George, haven’t you? Nyah!’ We’re in this together Me and George, down in my cellar He said, ‘it’s not that nice down here, Matt, please excuse me.’ I said George, ‘What did you expect an underground Jacuzzi?’ George you’ve got disdain for people you see Try to cut tax credits, and raise VAT He said, ‘your politics are too simplistic.’ So I drew a cock n balls on his face with a lipstick We’re in this together Me and George Osborne in my cellar Like Katie Hopkins and her vile ideas Like Donald Trump and his repugnant hair Like a Pig and a Prime Minister We’re in this together We’re in this together
6.
Here are the translated lyrics.... Song Title: Henri the Amorous Lorry Driver It was on the road to Brittany that I saw a vision Of a man with facial hair that didn’t raise suspicion You looked like such a man’s man A big man at the wheel I didn’t know you had a plan Were you impressed by the size of my thumb? That I stuck out by the road, oh I was so young With your beard and manly looks, I had no reason to be afraid But sometimes looks can be deceptive So you thought it was okay to stop Jump out for a wee by the roadside I didn’t think That you would beckon me out to look at the thing in your hand.. what did you think I would do Chorus: Oh Henri, Henri please let me go I don’t wanna touch your penis today Oh Henri you seem like a reasonable, if somewhat troubled man So I just said ‘Shall we go?’ and we carried on…. Although there was a rather strange atmosphere… Oh Henri, Henri It’s not a problem that you are bisexual or gay I do hope that you come to terms with your sexuality, but I don’t think this is the way it is done Taking advantage of young English boys a long way from home Is not the way to come out if you’re a sexually frustrated gay lorry driving man Oh Henri, Henri thanks for dropping me on the right road I’m sorry that I wasn’t interested in touching your penis today Oh Henri you seem like a reasonable, if somewhat troubled man So I just said ‘Shall we go?’ and we carried on Although I did spend the rest of the journey shitting myself thinking he was going to kill me But I’m glad this story doesn’t have a dark twisted murderous ending, my friend I just said goodbye to a red faced French lorry driver called Henri
7.
I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you Oh I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you And sometimes we’re up, sometimes we’re down sometimes we’re flying and sometimes we’re crying We get up again and we keep trying cos I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you... Take you up on a grassy hill by the sea, is the kite a metaphor for you and me No it’s not cos we’re still together, the kite didn’t fly, but I blame the weather One minute there’s sun, then the rain and the wind comes, a day by the British coast can give you four seasons The kite won’t fly cos the wind is too gusty But at least that blows away anything that is fusty If the kite is blown and the lines get tangled Above the clouds the stars are still spangled I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you Oh I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you And sometimes we’re up, sometimes we’re down sometimes we’re flying and sometimes we’re crying We get up again and we keep trying cos I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you... I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you Oh I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you And sometimes we’re up, sometimes we’re down sometimes we’re flying and sometimes we’re crying We get up again and we keep trying, cos I’m high as a kite cos I’m with you... and I’m not on drugs.

about

This is a lovingly recorded mini album with some great tunes including Flat Packing Anger Management, a duet with Diana VIckers, Consensual Stalking and Rats, probably the only song about compromise in relationships and rodent infestations.

credits

released November 11, 2016

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about

Matt Tiller UK

Hello. I am a comic songwriter described as ‘Hilarious’ by New Statesman and ’Sharp and astutely observed’ by British Comedy Guide. I write and performs personal, observational and political songs. My controversial tune, We’re In This Together, garnered some great reviews; Indie Band Guru wrote, ‘Looking away from the astounding melody and tune, the lyrics themselves are hysterical.’ ... more

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