Things I Smashed

by Matt Tiller

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Things I Smashed is about how I drop stuff all the time. Mugs, plates, vases and glasses; you name it, I’ve smashed it. But it’s a love song too.

lyrics

Your favourite mug with an L ’cos your name starts with an L
I tried to be careful I think, but one time it slipped and shattered in the sink
My heart skipped a beat, face white as a sheet
I’ve broken things before, so I brought two more in case I dropped one on the floor
A plate split in two, the crack shaped like the Thames
Eastenders plays in my head, the fractured plate was cheap otherwise I would be dead

These are things I smashed
I’m clumsy with china, bish bosh, bash
But I never smashed your heart
Just inanimate objects into parts
No I’ll never break your heart into pieces, unlike that picture of cheeses, mini statue of Jesus, though I might have been pleased with that one

That big pyrex bowl just slipped through my hands
It only fell an inch, but it ruptured in three met it’s demise violently
The lamp I knocked to the floor, while carelessly doing chores
I blame the vacuum but you got the lamp fixed it now it’s back in the front room

These are things I smashed
I’m clumsy with china, smish smosh smash
But I never smashed your heart
Just inanimate objects into parts
No I’ll never break your heart, no cracks, unlike that cool Marmite butter dish and toast rack

Now where’s the dustpan and brush, another tumbler
Tumbled I was in a rush, I’ve been rumbled
Don’t go barefoot in the hall, be on guard there’s shards on the floor
Your favourite glass is no more

These are things I smashed
I’m clumsy with china, wallop, bang, crash
Cos I never smashed your heart
Just inanimate objects into parts
No I’ll never break your heart
Not demolished, no dent, that vase needs more than a polish it’s utterly rent

So many things I broke but never I love you unspoke
You broke a glass with the kettle, don’t know how still got some way to reach my total
My co-ordination’s a farce, I’m showered in broken glass
Amazing we’ve made it so far, still haven’t fixed that frame I broke when I picked up my guitar

These are things I smashed
I’m clumsy with china, but hopes not dashed
Cos I never smashed your heart
Just inanimate objects into parts
No I’ll never break your heart
no chips, unlike that bowl that’s done like ageing knees or hips

These are things I smashed

credits

released February 22, 2019

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Matt Tiller UK

Hello. I am a comic songwriter described as ‘Hilarious’ by New Statesman and ’Sharp and astutely observed’ by British Comedy Guide. I write and performs personal, observational and political songs. My controversial tune, We’re In This Together, garnered some great reviews; Indie Band Guru wrote, ‘Looking away from the astounding melody and tune, the lyrics themselves are hysterical.’ ... more

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